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Leef je vanuit je hoofd of je hart?

We leven in een maatschappij waarin onze energie moeizaam vrij kan stromen. Deze wordt continu geblokkeerd omdat we het leven leiden dat anderen ons hebben opgelegd of waarvan we denken dat anderen het zullen waarderen. Hierdoor raken we steeds verder verwijderd van wie we zelf zijn en leiden we een soort van ‘geprogrammeerd bestaan’. Dit zorgt ervoor dat het bereiken van doelstellingen, zoals gezonder leven, steeds lastiger wordt. Evenals het genieten, zelf ontdekken en het creatief zijn omtrent het creëren van een gezonde leefstijl. 


We hebben allemaal verschillende persoonlijkheden en ieder heeft zijn eigen talent en doel in dit leven. Een ander kan je niet vertellen of opleggen hoe jij je leven moet leiden. Dit probleem begint al in de opvoeding waarin we onze kinderen vertellen dat een vogel een vogel is, wat die vogel kan en waar zijn beperkingen liggen. We lezen onze kinderen steeds minder sprookjes voor maar kiezen voor tastbare onderwerpen. We geven slechts beperkte vrije ruimte voor eigen fantasie en beleving waardoor we onze creativiteit en het ‘out of the box denken’ steeds meer inperken. Misschien een gek voorbeeld, gezien de tijd van het jaar, maar ik kon even geen betere bedenken: Als een kind je vraagt hoe Sinterklaas op het dak komt met zijn paard krijg je het meest geniale antwoord als je de vraag teruglegt; hoe denk jij dat hij dat doet? Een beroemde uitspraak van Albert Einstein hierover luidt: ‘Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.’ Wat hij hiermee eigenlijk zegt is dat kennis over iets, verbeeldingskracht en autonomie in de weg staat. Kinderen leven veel meer vanuit hun hart en intuitie.

Naarmate we ouder worden verliezen we steeds meer fantasie en verbeeldingskracht en dat maakt ons ‘kortzichtig’ in relatie tot anderen. We zien alleen dat wat we zelf denken waar te nemen. Wat ik daarmee wil zeggen is dat als je de kracht om te fantaseren of om te dromen verliest, het steeds moeilijker wordt om optimale resultaten te bereiken. Helaas zijn veel mensen verleerd hoe ze de energie die verantwoordelijk is voor deze creativiteit kunnen laten stromen. We zijn veelal druk en bezig met onze tijd ‘nuttig’ besteden. Daarentegen voelen kinderen zich niet schuldig als ze aan het dagdromen zijn. Zij voelen van binnen dat dagdromen, om je energie af te stemmen op je verlangens, vele malen sterker is dan acties ondernemen vanuit een gevoel van moeten.
Verwachtingen komen vaak voort uit onze eigen ervaringen of achtergrond of vanuit wat onze omgeving ons laat zien. We kijken steeds minder zelf voorbij de horizon of kritisch naar onze eigen vooroordelen en we kruipen nog maar zelden zelf achter het stuur om te ontdekken waar ons geluk ligt.


Ik heb inmiddels ontdekt dat het nastreven van mijn eigen passies mij gelukkig maakt. Los van het feit wat een ander daarvan vindt. Dat betekent niet dat je grenzeloos keuzes kunt maken die bijdrage aan je geluk. Je moet je wel bewust zijn van de consequenties die elke keuze met zich meebrengt en of je met die consequenties kunt leven. Het volgen van van je eigen hart is geen makkelijke opgave in een wereld waarin we continu worden bekritiseerd, beoordeeld en gestigmatiseerd. Hoe vaak komt het wel niet voor dat we anderen advies geven? En hoe vaak vragen we aan de ander wat voor hem of haar zelf de ideale situatie is? Wat voor hem of haar zelf de voor en nadelen zijn van bepaalde keuzes? Of wat hij of zij zelf wilt? zonder eerst onze mening te geven en te vertellen wat ‘goed’ is. Onbevooroordeelde open en verdiepende vragen kunnen helpen om iemand dichter bij zichzelf en zijn of haar eigen intuitie te brengen. Dat is veelal de plek waar alle antwoorden en adviezen liggen verborgen. Daarvoor is het van belang dat je kunt reflecteren op je eigen gedrag want een oordeel is al merkbaar in de tonatie van je stem. Je kunt iemand vragen waarom hij of zij iets op een bepaalde wijze doet en je kunt iemand vragen waa-rom iemand iets op een bepaalde wijze doet (vanuit nieuwsgierigheid in een ander zijn of haar beweegredenen). Daarbij moet je accepteren dat niet iedereen denkt, voelt en leert zoals jij dat doet en dat in elke vorm hiervan een kracht zit verborgen. Een ieder heeft zijn of haar eigen bagage en talent. 

Vanuit een ander perspectief 
Als we problemen moeten oplossen gaan we meestal eerst allerlei argumenten op een rijtje zetten voordat we luisteren naar ons hart. Terwijl eigenlijk intuitieve ingevingen zouden moeten worden aangevuld door rationeel denken. Je intuïtie is je innerlijk kompas. Het is het vermogen dat ieder mens heeft om situaties snel in te schatten en een besluit te nemen. Om je intuïtie te horen of te voelen is het nodig om niet overal iets van te ‘vinden’ maar om op een beschouwende wijze naar je eigen gedachten te kijken. Mindfulness-oefeningen kunnen hierbij helpen. Hierdoor leer je dat je gedachten hebt, maar dat je niet je gedachten bent. Zo kun je jezelf ontwikkelen tot een observator van je eigen denkproces.

De beoefening van mindfulness-meditatie is ongeveer 2500 jaar oud. Het is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde aandachtstraining. Het is een training die oosterse wijsheid en westerse psychologie integreert. Een hele simpele oefening is je ademhaling volgen, observeren van het begin tot het eind en voelen wat het in je lijf doet. Als er tussendoor gedachten opkomen kun je ze herkennen en labelen ‘Oja..dit zijn mijn gedachten en ik merk op dat die positief of negatief zijn of dat het mijn angsten zijn’ om ze vervolgens weer los te laten en terug te gaan naar de focus op je ademhaling. Je besteed als het ware weinig aandacht aan je gedachten en gaat ze niet verder onderzoeken. Bij angsten zie je vaak dat ze gekoppeld zijn aan hetgeen jij zelf eerder hebt meegemaakt of beleefd maar dat wil niet zeggen dat ze nu maken wie jij bent. Ze blokkeren je energie omdat je ze simpelweg niet herkent en je jezelf ermee identificeert. Als je vanuit een ander perspectief kunt kijken en begrijpt waarom bepaalde gevoelens of gedachten onderdeel uitmaken van jou leven, kun je ze beter loslaten en meer leven vanuit je hart.


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